The way you raise your child has a significant impact in their personalities, their future choices, success and even their love life. Therefore, it is of paramount importance that you do a good job. No pressure! The key to effective discipline is to understand who your child is and use your discipline to help him achieve his/her potential given those talents and tendencies. The following tips can help properly discipline your child:
- Communicate your discipline plan: Discipline techniques should not come "out of the blue," especially if you are trying something new. Explain the technique, why you are using it, and what you hope it will accomplish. Older children may be included in choosing which rewards and consequences would be appropriate.
- Be respectful of your child: If you show your child respect, even when disciplining your child, your child is more likely to respect you, other family members, and other people in his or her life. Behave the way you want your child to behave.
- Be consistent: Any technique will fail if you don't follow through or enforce consequences consistently. If you say, for example, that toys will be off limits for a week, then take them away if the offending behavior continues.
- Don't break your discipline rules by giving in during public exhibitions of bad behavior, such as a child throwing a tantrum while shopping. If you give in to the child's demands, the tantrums will continue.
- Try to keep your goals and your techniques consistent over time. If more than one adult is responsible for the child's discipline, be sure you agree about the approaches you will use.
- Understand what's appropriate for your child's development: Before disciplining a child, make sure that the child really did understand what you asked him or her to do. Sometimes parents make demands for behavior that is beyond the child's ability to comply. often need to be "grown into."
- Look for the "why" behind behaviors: If you notice a pattern of inappropriate behavior, part of the solution is to look for "whys." For example, perhaps your child is upset about something else, such as a friend moving away. Maybe your child had a bad day at school. Perhaps your child feels stressed about family problems. May be s/he is tired or hungry.
- Know When and Where to Go for Help: Give yourself a break. Even if you have the best discipline techniques and parenting style, there are some days when nothing seems to work. Or perhaps you've had a bad day, too. Developing skills for positive discipline takes a lot of practice and a lot of time. If you feel you have made a mistake, be honest. Apologize to your child and explain how you plan to change your response the next time.
Any time you have questions about your child's behavior and discipline, check in with your child's doctor. It may be time to seek help from a mental health professional when you see:
- Ongoing disrespect for all authorities: parents, teachers, and other adults
- Aggressive or destructive behavior
- Signs of depression , such as feeling blue for a long time,
- having no friends, or
- threatening suicide
References:
1. Effective discipline for children - NCBI https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719514/
2. Child Discipline Methods: https://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/discipline-tactics#1
3. How To Discipline Your Child: https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/how-to-discipline-your-child